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You don't have to LOVE yourself to be Happy

Updated: Oct 16, 2022

I know this might be startling information.

But it's true.

For those of us that spent years in the self hating club... picking apart every tiny detail about ourselves, hating the very sight of our bodies and living with a constant combination of guilt and shame so thick you could cut it with a chainsaw.... asking someone like that to just suddenly "love themself" is like asking me to suddenly like bananas (the most repulsive fruit ever).

It's so unnatural.

It's so foreign.

It's so hard...

It's asking to someone to undo years upon years of brain conditioning... just like that...

And when that switch can't just be flipped...

Even more guilt, shame, defeat, embarrassment is added to the picture. So not helpful!

The struggle is real friends.

But it doesn't have to be so hard.

I know because I've been there.

For many years, I did not like myself. At all.

I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't pretty enough, I was too fat, too muscular, too wild, too loud...

So when I decided "ok, now I'm going to love myself".... that transition wasn't easy.

In fact, it was really hard.

And when I couldn't magically turn the disgust I felt for myself into love, I felt like a failure.

It's easy to love yourself when you are on the cover of Women's Health magazine with 6 pack abs.. but how about when your a thick and strong, 5'6", divorced, 36 year old with some cellulite?

How could I love that version of me all of a sudden? After all these years?

Everything changed when I learned the concept of self appreciation.

This I could do!

I started small and worked up.

Ya I'm thick and strong but I appreciate that I can lift really heavy things.

Ya I'm divorced but appreciate that I wanted better for my life and was brave enough to leave.

Ya I have a little cellulite (way less thanks to my #liquidgold firming foam) but I also have crazy sexy, strong legs that can run a freakin marathon!!

I might not have "loved" these parts of myself yet, but I sure could appreciate the hell out of them. And because I could appreciate so many wonderful things about myself, as the list grew, so did my love for myself.

I didn't every realize the transition was happening until one day I looked in the mirror and thought, "I am so proud of the person looking back at me" then, I knew in my heart, I finally did, in fact, LOVE myself.

This is possible for you too!

A simple way to get started is to do what I called the "Mirror Minute"

Stand in front of a mirror and close your eyes. Take 5 deep breaths and think about something you "appreciate" about yourself as a human. It can be anything! Physical, mental, spiritual, personality, talents, skills.... literally anything!

*Side note: It might not exactly be a "minute".

My first session took 10 minutes and tears before I could come up with anything. Give yourself grace and time to really think about something important. You will be so thankful you did. It will also get easier every time.

Once you have your thing, take 5 additional breaths thinking about that one thing while you stare at yourself in the eyes in the mirror.

That's it.

Do this every day for a week and see how you feel.

I promise, with a little hard work and vulnerability, you can completely change the way you feel about yourself. You can be happier just by changing what you focus on.

I would love to chat more if you want to discuss your experience and findings!

I hope this can help one person in their journey.

Love you all,

Coach TayTay

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